Great ministry flows out of great relationships.

With every relationship, there are tensions. Everyone pulling on the rope makes things better.

Exodus 18,

-what are you trying to accomplish?

-Jesus uses the same pattern of leadership with the disciples

-who are you investing in?

-the purpose of leadership is to produce other leaders.

-target young adult/people to invest in future leadership role

-watch out for poor organization as that hurts people/leaders.

-leadership is not measured by your presence but in your absence.

Relationships in leadership

Relational expectations are:

1) relationship with self - tension by being human and the messiah. Need to understand our limitations,

2) relationship with the LORD; publicly and personally: what is the state of your soul. Being spiritually fresh.

3) relationship with our spouse/family - tension between family (unresolved conflict). Unbalanced schedule, family ministry is harder than public ministry, family life doesn't stroke the ego like public ministry because they expect you to walk it out. Rare is the pastor from wanting to do more ministry when they go home to their families. Where ever you are, be there. Private victory must proceed public victory. Carve out a balanced life.

4) relationship with your pastor. Champion your pastor.. Find a mentorship person.

5) relationship with parents. Tension between their kid and the group. Care and love parents... they are your ally!

6) relationship with other churches. Be with the youth guys in your city.

7) relationship with the community between the inward and outward. Work stronger with our community.

8) relationship with the fellowship. Your direction between district direction and personal/church vision

Energized relationships - the lost, friends, family

De-energizer relationships - people who are always needy, critical people, spectators (opinions but doesn't have solutions)

Must need relationships - life spiritual coach, thinking relationship (idea bouncer), listening friends, empathizer - someone to feel. Fun friends. Correcting friends. Have people who love you enough to share advice that would perhaps end your friendship. Understand the risks and rewards of friendships.

Hope this gives you some insight into your leadership. Part 2 is tomorrow.

Lead Well!

                        A great leader brings out the best in others.

Intellect, giftings, and personality of a charisma leader may help you for a while… but what makes an organization; whether a church, business, sports team, non – profit; is if the leader brings out the best in others.

Here are some thoughts about bringing out the best in your organization:

Share your heart – communicate vision that moves people… not just product.

Challenge your people to get involved – communicate to people not just to participate but to share the vision… to make it their own. This naturally comes out of intentional relationships.

Encourage – keep on encouraging your people. I think there is a HUGE misunderstanding in leaders today that think: “I could do things better…” This may be true, but it won’t help you or your organization. If your people do, at the most 80% of what you could have done, that will save you 100% of your time to focus somewhere else. In saying that, I am not encouraging delegation as much as bringing out the best. Get your people in their zone.

Example – you build the environment in your organization. You build what you are. Is your organization bringing out the best in people or are you using people to bring out your best?

Humility – helping others to be their best is to back out and let your best people lead. You don’t always have to be in the spot light… tough one, but the greatest leaders bring out the best in others.

The greatest organizations of all time; including businesses, sport teams, churches are ones that build a culture (that starts with the lead guy) on bringing out the best in others.

It is important to determine your stress points and your relieve valves. If not, we become damaged leaders that damage others… and it usually starts with those that are closest to us.

Furthermore, there are AWESOME resources to help leaders determine stress points, indicators that we are stressed, and how to deal with stress appropriately.

But what does Scripture have to say about stress? Interestingly enough, the Bible doesn’t address stress as a topic as much as how to respond:

• Stress does NOT come from God. It is generated by the worldly needs that we encounter on a daily basis. There is no such thing as “good” or “bad” stress in the Kingdom. In saying that, if unchecked, stress will develop a door for the enemy to rob you of the joys in your life – Matthew 13:22
• Stress indicates a lack of intimacy with Christ – Luke 10:41-42; Matthew 6:33
• Stress reveals the motivation to control the situation as the reality is... ONLY God has supreme control – Isaiah 55:1-3; Hab 3:17-19
• UNCHECKED and/or un-dealt stress will cause a blurred perspective, an ungrateful attitude, and will result in burnt relationships. – Romans 8:31 (fear or faith motivators); Psalms 127:1-2

How you and I do business with stress is more important than what is stressing us out. How are you dealing with stress?

• He trusted in God - he led his people out of apostasy (v.4). He did this by destroying the things that defiled them for generations. This would have been a hard task/project for any leader. In fact, I don’t think many leaders would have gone as extreme as he did because the fear of rebellion. But, Hezekiah was more concerned what the LORD would have thought than the people. What are you more concerned with?
• Trust will be tested - Hezekiah’s trust in the Lord was tested by people and circumstances. The Assyrian king flexed his military power to destroy Hezekiah’s kingdom (v.4-5), mocked his trust in God (v. 25), and called out to the people to rebel against Hezekiah (v.30)… Has your trust in God ever been tested?
• Trust with God earns trust with people – this should be a given. If you and I follow God as Hezekiah did, people would respond to our leadership in trust. It is amazing to me that the people did not rebel against Hezekiah in the face of the Assyrian nation. In fact, they are willing to lay down their lives for their leader than give in to the Assyrian king (v.36). Imagine if Hezekiah gave in??? The real benefit of trust comes out when you and I are tested. Would your people be willing to lay down their lives to your leadership?

Relections:

I truly believe that the local church is the hope of the world. You and I have the great honor and privilege to build our people, communities, and leadership teams out of TRUST... not out of position, power, or prestige.

How are you revealing TRUST to your people? Are you living a life that communicates God’s heart to your people? Not religious apostasy...

How has your trust in God and people been tested? By others? People? Even God? How have you responded? More importantly, what do you and I need to do to trust in God for/more?

Do your people trust you with their lives? This is the ultimate example of trust!

What is Grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss. EVERYONE grieves differently... There is no wrong way to grief. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one – and this type of loss does often cause the most intense grief. But any loss can cause grief, including:

Stages of Grief

All of us may go through all or some of the natural stages to grief. It is important to know the stages because it helps you to associate that there is a healing process in your lost.

Shock – “this could have not happened”

Anger – “why is this happening?”

Blame – “whose fault is this?”

Depression – “I am too sad to do anything.”

Acceptance – “I am at peace” (This does not mean that you condone or agree, but you have accepted reality.

How to deal with grief?

Get support – surround yourself with people that you trust... people who you can talk to. Remember, don’t grief ALONE. You can turn to family and friends, a support group at your school or community center, counsellors, and/or your faith.

Take care of yourself – eat properly, exercise, and get TONS of rest.

Take it easy – don’t make major decisions as the grief process may interfere with judgment

How to find peace?

We can find comfort knowing that God is in control even though we feel that we aren’t – John 14:1-6

God gives us comfort so that we can comfort those in times of difficulty – 2 Corinthians 1:3-8

Finding hope in God gives a deep peace that goes beyond our questions, frustrations, anger, and understanding – Philippians 4:6-7

God is with us... to give rest, peace, direction, hope, strength... and is for us! – Psalms 23

I hope this helps...

With ya friends!

• Self- Reliance (v.8) - Amaziah was successful in Biblical terms (which is found on reliance with God) but isn't content in his success... he wanted MORE (v.8). In other words, he wasn't content with the call of God on his life. He started to put things in his OWN hands. He was MORE driven my results rather than relationships with God and his people. Ever been there before?
• Arrogance (v.8) - Amaziah starts to pick fights with EVERYONE... thinking that he is better than other national leaders? Ever been there before... Thinking that you are better than someone else OR/AND thinking you can DO things better than other leaders?
• Pride (v.11) - usually, proud people would never see themselves prideful... that is the problem with pride! No one owns up to it. HOWEVER, a good indicator that you are dealing with pride is that you dont like advise from other people; even those who are the closest to you. Pride hinders self-awareness, equipping other leaders, and usually festers in territorial examples of conflict (my turf vs your turf). How are you dealing with pride? To be honest, leaders usually deal with this one... are you listening? Or criticizing?
• Selfish (v.11) - he didnt CARE about his people. In any area of influence or leadership, success is given BY the people through care! Caring for the people displays trust. BUT King Amaziah didn't care about his people AS MUCH AS his own selfish wants. Rather than meeting the needs of the people, he pursued his own gains. BEWARE of this one because the people will turn on you. Caring isn't about given in to ALL the needs of your people/congregation/followers, but leading them out of their own selfishness. God gives wisdom to this one as leadership is contextual.

In result... he brought himself down; the nation he picked a fight with defeated him (v. 12-13); made a fool out of him by demolishing the capitol (v. 14); and his people rebelled (v.19).

Reflections:

Have you and I plateaued in our effectiveness due to our own selfishness?

What plateaued indicators do you deal with the most?

How have you and I deepened our relationship with Christ?

Are we more concerned with people or productivity?

Are we meeting the needs of our followers/congregations? And JUST AS IMPORTANT, are we meeting the needs of our communities?

Lead well friends!

Q: What are the non-negotiable in youth ministry?

A: 1) Challenge teenagers... just don't teach them. Get them to do something with their faith... always give them an avenue/response to your teaching.

    2) Have a outreach night (high fun, hit them with the gospel) and a discipleship night

    3) Do STM trips and have purposeful followup programs

    4) Develop leaders well... I even took a pay cut to hire more staff as I started to speak abroad

Q: How do you prepare a message?

A: I use the SCORRE method by Ken Davis. I memorize my points and build stories around them. I try to make them laugh.... because if they laugh, they will listen... and if they listen, they will learn. I use this method in schools too.

Q: How did you transition from being a youth pastor to a full time national speaker?

A: I was doing both... but my dad told me one day through a hunting story that I needed to do either/or... because I couldn't do both well. I asked God and felt that he didn't care what I did... if I loved him and loved people, he would bless it no matter what I do.

In saying that, Bob Lenz spoke on going all the way...

• God is NOT wanting you and I to have God as our #1 but as our all
• It is like a marriage relationship of love and acceptance. God is waiting at the altar but we have to go all the way.
• Imagine on  your wedding day if your spouse only went half way to the altar??? It would be over... feelings of disappointment, rejection, and anger.
• God wants you and I to give him everything because Heaven is better than...

Are you willing to give Jesus your all? He did for you... and asks for the same.

Thoughts:

• The world needs followers of Jesus... not religious people.
• Heaven is FREE and is a GIFT. It is up to us what we do with that gift.
• We got to get back to being "red letters of Jesus" rather than sub church like cultures
• We represent Jesus... and I take that responsibility seriously as some will only know Jesus through you and me.
• What are your thoughts?

Check out HM pics:

Heaven is better than:

• MONEY - it is the lowest in heaven as the streets are made out of gold. The world elevates wealth, Heaven walks on it.
• FOOD - all you can eat pizza all the time! It will be a continual feast... and there will be no calories.
• JETSKIS - heaven will be fun
• GETTING DRUNK - Fun for a season but ends in addiction, abuse, or pain. There is NO pain, addiction, abuse in heaven. So many times we think that this world offers us more than heaven
• SEX - sex does not fulfill... marriage is God's idea... and it still works!

Heaven is NOT:

• disappointing, painful, hurts, abuse, disunity and war, hatred, judgement... these things are NOT in heaven.

Thoughts:

• Heaven lives in our hearts... and ONE DAY will become a reality.
• We can bring a glimpse of heaven in our everyday reality as we give our lives to Christ... not just being our first priority...
• What are YOUR thoughts?

Check out HM 2010 Intro Video:

"Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing." - 1 Peter 3:9

Is it possible for the BEST comeback to bless others?

AGREE or DISAGREE... and why? Let me hear your thoughts...