When is a youth worker too old to be effective?

I’ve noticed something that happens to us youth workers around our mid-30′s, or so. We find ourselves unable to naturally relate to teenagers. Most of us have reached a point where we don’t automatically pick up on their references like we did in our 20′s. They mention a fad or a movie and we realize we have no idea what they’re talking about. This happens enough, and it begins to bother us.

We begin to think that means we’re too old. We hear a clock ticking inside of us. We say something like, “I’ve lost my relevance.”

There are other signs, as well . . .

The needle on our fun-meter is not as often moved by the games and the recreation. We think, “I need to move on to more adult things.”

We see our peers “advancing” to become Minister to Adults or Teaching Pastors. We say to ourselves, “I need to move on to real ministry.”

We see our friends leaving the ministry. We say to ourselves, “Is it time for me to quit playing around and get a real job?”

As an old youth worker, I’ll chime into the discussion (but it’s got to be quick because I’ll have to run to the bathroom, eat my oatmeal, and then take a nap).

1. I’ve never felt more effective in youth ministry than I do now.
  
2. I don’t believe teenagers care about relevance… they care about relationships.

3. Having had 3 teenagers live in my home, I know more about teens now than I ever did and can literally talk “their language” more accurate than I could when I was in my 20′s.

4. I’m closer to Jesus than I’ve ever been and I definitely have more wisdom to pass on (which was the thesis of the YM360 post).

5. I’m more patient, realistic and encouraging about spiritual growth. I better see the big-picture of sanctification than I did when I was younger and equated “program attendance” to “spiritual growth.”

Every Wednesday night my home is filled with 10th grade boys, and after sharing a meal together, we talk, read Scripture, confess our sins, and rejoice in the power of the Holy Spirit and the presence of God in our lives. It’s an unbelievable discipleship experience. Very different than how I discipled teenagers when I was in my 20′s.

I don’t know if these 10th grade guys give me respect because I “was” a full-time youth pastor for 29 years, if they endure me because I’m now a “volunteer” or if they like me because I’m “old” and they feel sorry for me (see photo above when I was the only one to wear something to “Crazy Christmas Sweater Dinner”).

I think they respect me because they know that I love them.

I don’t know all the names to their favorite songs/bands, I can’t keep up with all the new slang connected to genitalia, I’m usually the first one “out” when we play dodgeball… but, I know I’m an effective youth worker because I understand them, I know Jesus, and I depend on the Holy Spirt for everything I do when I’m with them.

When I was younger, unfortunately I think I depended more on my personality, charisma and drive.

Okay, that’s enough… now I got to go pee.

Question: When it comes to youth ministry... would you rather have young leaders or older leaders? Pros? Cons?

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Guest post from a great friend in youth ministry.

I think vision ALWAYS proceeds and rises above management. As vision grows, management will follow. BEWARE when management outgrows vision. When that happens, you have peaked in your influence as a person, organization, ecclesia, and context. Over-management can constipate creativity, minimize mission, and overlook vision.

Furthermore, it is interesting when a leadership team/organization begins to see their influence peak (and fall) and scrabble to strengthen management (how to strengthen the how) rather than inspire, create vision, and build buy in (recreating the why’s). Just look at RIM; rather than recreate vision they are changing management. Let’s see where that goes for the “vision” struggling company.

Another great example of over management would be the photo-film giant Kodak; who originally created the digital film in the 1970’s but decided to shelf the idea because of their multi-million dollar success at the time. Great lesson!

Question: How do you create vision? Evaluate vision? Re-create vision?

If you pray does it help you grow a beard?

Yes… check out the Vintage 21 videos on Youtube.

Do you think its right to say our religion is better than others?

No… I don’t think its right to say our religion (assuming Christianity) is better than others. With that said, out of the 33,000 different religions and cults in our world, Christianity is the only one that introduces grace.

If weed is bad why did God create it?

This is a great question… Let me give some perspective. I believe God created everything; including humans, animals, planets, universe, EVERYTHING including sex, and hemp. With that said God also gave humans the ability to manage His creation; thus, taking ownership of it. Now… because we live in a world that is evil; experiencing pain and gives pain, we also pain creation by our evil deeds. For example, what God created us in return abuse? We can abuse sex (ie, porn), abuse food (ie junk), abuse hemp (by creating weed) even though God created them… not for evil intention but for humanity to be in unity with each other and God. Apostle Paul said… everything is permissible but not beneficial. In the same way, even though God created everything, humanity can abuse because of our evil intent; thus not beneficial (unless used for medical reasons).

Whenever I pray and ask God something, why doesn’t he ever answer! Why should I be looking for? A sign?

Best teaching that someone gave me is God ANSWERS ALL prayers in 4 ways:

NO – because we ask out of our selfishness rather than His goodness – ie, Porsche

GROW – because we aren’t ready for the answer

SLOW – He wants us to realize the process is just as important as the answer

GO – He answers

Sometimes our prayers are legit but out of our control (ie, parents to quit fighting, etc.) that only God or those people can control. With that said, nothing is impossible with God. Miracles STILL happen! Keep praying because pray is more than a slot machine for answered prayers but a two way conversation with God that He desires to grow.

I feel alone when I pray to God… and I don’t know what to do?

TBH, I think aloneness or loneliness is the result of not knowing our purpose in life. I feel for ya and know how your feel yet I have found  if I know my purpose loneliness isn’t the result but fun, adventure, and pure awesomeness! So, my question back is how do we find purpose? I think Jesus nailed it pretty good in John 10:10… Check it out and make Tuesday nights a priority to find your purpose… you won’t be disappointed.

Nathan – cane you share one of the prayers that god answered from when you talked to God as an atheist?

I will get him to answer that shortly :)

What is God suppose to do in our lives?

Good question… check out the video:

What is a way to make praying an everyday thing?

As a teenager I prayed before I went to bed as this was the best time for me.  I put in my journal, “captains log” points of prayer for seeking God’s will, requests for others, and for Him to forgive me of my sins/personal requests WITH reading the Bible.

I read a PROVERB of a day and a chapter in the New Testament a day. This helped me understand who God was, what He did/does for me, and to understand myself. It really helped me as a teenager

Why is God above us?

Bible says God is everywhere.

If you don’t pray outloud how do you know God hears you?

Yes… because God is all-knowing.

What is the purpose of humans if we only trouble God?

We don’t trouble God. He came to save us from our own trouble and then calls us to live a life that makes our world better.

Why does God judge us on how to live and which way we live, when he says in the Bible that he doesn’t judge and loves us all?

There are two types of judgment that God gives. First is a judgment of sin which equals death; not only physical death but spiritual death. God sent His Son, Jesus, to take away the sins of the world through salvation. It is a gift that we can either receive or reject.

The second type of judgment is based on accountability on how we live our lives… do we truly live for God or ourselves? Make the world a better place or not?  This is a post-based judgment.

With that said, God doesn’t judge us because he hates us! He judges us based on finding righteousness with God. Check out Jn 3:16-17; Romans 5:8.

I sort of believe in God but I really want to believe in him, but it’s hard to believe in some things. I’m confused and I don’t know what to do?

Keep asking questions! Keep coming out to youth. Get connected to your Refuel leader. This will help!

How do you know when you get the word from God? Does he choose when you get it?

All “words” from God should line up with God’s Word, encourage you, and give you peace.

Does God say legit?

Yes… aka “It is finished” - Jesus on the Cross

Kelly, what is your favorite thing about God?

I will get Kelly to answer this J

King Solomon, who was the wisest and wealthiest man in his day said,

             "without a vision people will perish..."

In the same way, when we DONT set goals we naturally allow our full potential in our skill, relationships, and purpose God to erode. Here are some ways that have helped me achieve some goals:

Write down 3-4 goals

I encourage you to write down 3-4 goals for your life, relationships, and occupation. At the same time, I have known people who would write down 20-25 goals but it becomes unrealistic to reach. Keep it simple. 

Write down an action plan

Goals NEED an action plan. Without an action plan goals are just dreams. I have used the S.M.A.R.T template for goals:

Specific - are detailed on what you want to accomplish. 

Measurable - someone once said, "Inch by inch life is a sinch. Yard by yard, life gets hard." goals need to be managed. I do this by writing down 3-4 actions steps/goal.

Actionable - use action! 

Realistic - goals that are realistic stretch you but dont break you.

Time-bound - set a timeline. Without a realitistic timeline, goals become too far fetched.

Write down motivators

Lets face it! Life has its unexpected surprises and pitfalls. When you take time to write down WHY you have these goals, the motivators will HELP you when life gets tough.  

Don’t forget relationships!

 Goals without relationships become dull. The top 3 resolutions of all time are to:

• Loose weight
• Stop smoking
• Get out of debt

These resolutions aren't bad but without relationships that cheer us on, keep us accountable, and offer advice goals become unattainable. We can become discouraged, beat ourselves up, and give up on our goals. But, through accountability, ANY goal is achievable. Which relationships in your life can help support you with your goals? Parents? Spouse? Friend? Mentor? Perhaps finding an accountability relationship for each of your goals will help you move forward. 

Keep Perspective

We are all called to purpose. Goals need to be focused on the God-given purpose for your life. As King Solomon wisely put it that people perish with vision, we also perish without a clear, crisp persepective that comes from God. How are you planning to keep God in the big picture? Without him, our goals become limited and perhaps self-centered.

I hope this can help you as it has definitely helped me.

May 2012 best your best year ever!

I am more concerned for the next generation to stand up for NOTHING because truth is somehow subjective by accepting EVERYTHING out of a pluralistic worldview.

On the flip side, standing up for truth needs to be honed in tolerance. Tolerance is having the maturity to respect people's values enough to also stand up for their own... I would call this being Biblically correct.

NOW... before you think I am another Bible pusher, I'm not AS MUCH AS being Biblically correct reveals love, grace, and truth.

The Bible, God, Jesus all reveal LOVE + TRUTH = TOLERANCE. Throughout the Biblical, we see the need to accept others (Jesus did that ALL the time) and also revealed truth to them (religious leaders, Gentiles, prositutes, government officials). Furthremore, Jesus calls US (as followers of Christ) to accept others. I call them the other commands (Eph 4:13; Jn 13:3; James 5:16; Jn 13:14... in fact, there are dozen of words in the New Testament that command Christians to be tolerant with each other). Let me define tolerance again; just in case, that it is to RESPECT others enought to stand up for truth.

How are you revealing tolerance to the next generation? Are you more concerned about being politically correct or being Biblically correct; that is, being a follower of Jesus? 

May this Season from Dec 25-Jan 1; which represents new life (Dec 25) and new beginnings (Jan 1), be one of conviction and tolerance, NOT compromise and pluralism. It is really a choice

First, some Christians decide to isolate because of the origins of Halloween, and perhaps rightly so. Halloween originated from a pagan ritual believing the underworld met earth. In response, the people would wear scary costumes and dance around fires to scare away evil spirits.

Second, some decide to condemn Halloween as an evil holiday celebrating the birth of Satan. This might be a practical response for Christians because we don’t celebrate the birth of Satan. Furthermore, some condemn pumpkin carving because Jack O Lantern (a real person) decided to carve pumpkins to scare away evil spirits from his home.

Third, some decide not to participate in Halloween because of the violence associated with October 31. “Trick or Treat” originated from England where street/poor children asked the rich to give a “treat” (food) to meet their needs known as Begger’s Night (in the US). If children were snubbed off they would respond by vandalizing the homes of the rich.

Last, some Christians have responded redemptive. In the 1800s, a group of Christians decided to redeem Halloween by dressing up children in Biblical or animal costumes and ask for candy throughout the neighbourhood. With that said, I would take it even further that Christians should respond to Halloween by offering safe, fun, and warm activities for children and their families.

Isn’t this what Jesus did for you and me?

Rather than responding to our sins by isolating Himself or condemning us as sinners, He initiated a relationship with us while we still hated him (John 3:16; Romans 5:8).

Shouldn’t we respond the same?

This is what Emmanuel wants to do. On Monday, October 31, we had over 200 children and their families come through our doors for a safe, warm, and friendly place to have fun. We had over 50 volunteers who baked cakes, manned stations, dressed up in Biblical characters or superheroes, and opened up our resources for the community.

I personally asked my neighbours to come and surprisingly enough they came! All 7 of them... and if you asked them today how their Halloween was on Monday they would reply that Emmanuel was the highlight of their night.

Be released to redeem...

Individualism – God doesn’t call you to be a lone ranger in heaven... Heaven isn’t all about YOU. In fact, God calls you to community... Matthew 5-7 speaks of the relationship God gives to humanity and standards of interpersonal relationship with each other.

Religion – God doesn’t care about rules and regulations as much as having a relationship with His people. Those that build on this relationship with the All-mighty God is worship, prayer, wisdom, seeking, guidance.

Tradition – the Gospel is BIGGER than the 4 spiritual laws... it is about community, transformation into the likeness of Christ, and mission.

Status – some may think that the Gospel is a free ticket to heaven; which is partly true but not the whole truth... as it is about mission. The Gospel is BIGGER than status... it is simply making the world and people’s lives better as PURE RELIGION.

If you understand the Gospel as “good news”, when was the last time you built community with people who are unlike you? When was the last time you served others simply to bring out the best in them? And, more importantly, is the Gospel transforming you into the likeness of Christ in everyday life or is everyday life numbing out the Gospel?

A healthy youth worker is a healthy person… and a healthy person puts boundaries around 3 things that adolescents look for in a youth worker:

Authentic – being able to be volunerable enough to lead young people to maturity in Christ and unity with one another. It isn’t about venting your personal struggles, frustrations, or anger at teens… Ephesians 4:29 is a good filter of what it means to be authentic to teens.

Acceptance – being able to speak truth in love. So many times, we either speak to teens with truth and no grace which leads to legalism (rejection) or all grace and no truth which leads to hedonism (do whatever you want). There needs to be youth workers that love teens enough to share truth with love and firmness.

Availability – having a open schedule to spend time with teens... with purpose. Teens can smell a fake… they will know if you care enough to invest in them or not. At the same time, build boundaries around your time schedule or they will take over. Build a 21 hour grid schedule (if you want details on this schedule template, let me know).

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Discussions with Marv Penner, the Canadian President of Youth Specialities and Coordinator of the Canadian Youth Workers Conference.

If you are a NGM leader, a young pastor, youth pastor, children’s worker, young missionary starting out in ministry, I would appreciate to make your voice heard. What trends, needs, desires, and outcomes would you like to experience as a young minister in the PAOC of the BC/Yukon District? What systems to do think need to change or be restored to serve you better?

As Paul urges his Roman readers to have ONE voice to bring glory to God through our LORD Jesus Christ, we also need to work as ONE. As the NGM representative of the District Leadership Team, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to leave your comments, bring some flavor to the chat, or contact me anytime as the leadership of the PAOC BC/Yukon District truly wants to serve you well.

Make your voice heard. Share your thoughts.

As I look into Scripture, it reveals little on this subject but gives hints:

• Moses stands in the gap for Israel in Exodus 33 as YHWH; instead of destroying the people of God in their sin accepts his plea to reveal His presence through Israel.
• King Hezekiah in 2 Kings 20 pleas for YHWH to extend his life after a sickness and graciously complies.
• With that said, Malachi 3:6 reveals, “I the LORD do not change…” that God’s character and eternal purposes do not change.
• So, when asking the question, “Does God change his mind?” we must screen our answers through the character of God that he desires to have a relationship with His people.
• In ANY relationship, there is communication, cooperation, and conflict; good and bad. Someone once said that “God is all knowing, all powerful, and everywhere but he limits himself through our prayers.”
• In other words, God NEVER changes but intervenes, provides, protects, reveals, and counteracts on our behalf as we humbly respond or react to him. Perhaps Moses, Hezekiah, and the people of Israel were learning MORE about their relationship with YHWH and how He desires for us to be interdependent with Him than twisting His arm for our own selfish prayers.

What do you think? Does God change His mind?